My first words were “wholly shit I’m a mom”, the next were “wholly shit, it’s a boy”. My world was forever changed.
One of the hardest things I found as a new mom was the rewriting of my identity. I went from model, to wife to Mom in a matter of a month. My biggest fear? That I wasn’t going to be any good at it. I knew I wasn’t the kind of mom that coddled. I didn’t panic. I didn’t run at the first cry. There was a time when I really doubted that I would be a great mom. I guess that’s why I try so hard today to be the best influence my children have.
My husband and I have been together now 15 years. We have 2 beautiful boys, ages 13 & 10. I can’t say it’s ever been hard to be a mom. Have I had hard times? Yes. But not because of the kids, because of the timing. My husband travels a lot for work and was gone for about 17 months when the boys were 2 & 5. Those were the hardest days of my parenting life, only because I was doing it alone with the day to day. Our boys, they are dreams.
I’ve realized that the greatest gift I can give my children is my time. Last night our 13 year old and I had a conversation about a young child on a talent reality show. Her ability at such a young age was astounding. He didn’t understand how her parents knew her talent was so big! Up until that moment, I had never understood why we do what we do with our kids when they are little…but my response was simple: we put you in everything we possibly could when you were younger to see what stuck. What you were naturally attracted to. Music. Dance. Modeling. Theater. Sports, and every sport at that. Now a teenager, our son has a good grasp on his identity and our youngest isn’t afraid to try new things.
My job as a mother is the greatest of my life, but it isn’t an excuse for letting go of my own dreams and aspirations. What good are the words “finish what you started” if I myself don’t follow them? I want to be a hero to my boys. I may not be the strongest mom or the fastest mom, or the skinniest or the richest mom out there, but I am not a quitter and I don’t bow down to challenges.
If boys date girls who remind them of their mother’s, well, these poor dears better hang on to their britches, those little girls are going to give them a run for their money!